dear future me, dear ben schwartz, dear person i had a crush on
dear future me,
if you haven’t directed anything vaguely big, than i’m Mad At You, stop whatever you’re doing and try to direct a frickin movie now.
*cries a lot*
dear person i had a crush on,
have fun with your girlf while you still can, bc once the semester starts and you’re back in flag, she’s still in the valley, and we’ll be in all the same classes and at all the same parties, i’m going to snatch you away so quickly it would make her blonde little head spin.
“Listen, You’re allowed to be sad. You, totally, allow yourself to be sad, and then, you know, take a minute and be like, ‘ok. on to the next thing.’”—Ben Schwartz, - You Made it Weird Podcast, with Pete Holmes. - (via ttriblazor)
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.